did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
