I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
