Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
