It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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