Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
pop tarts are not kleenex
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
