His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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