All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
