That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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