So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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