wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My boob is missing a layer of skin
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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