I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
