if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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