We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
