Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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