im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
