I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
