if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
barbara walters just said penis...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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