Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
