worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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