I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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