elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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