my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
