This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
