And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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