I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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