If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
