So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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