It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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