i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
