i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
