I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
