It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
