from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I am one with the molecules
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
