but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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