i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
