Just fell off a train. Bad.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
