When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
