That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
