I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
