I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
