You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Actions speak louder than pants.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
