I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
