is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
