You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
