I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
