the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
