Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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