I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
