Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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