he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
