I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
