Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
