You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
