I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
