can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
