Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
