maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
