Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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