two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
