I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
